Thursday, March 25, 2010

My Triathlon

I've decided to take part in a triathlon! Beginning tonight I plan to eat, drink and watch TV while I lie in bed.

One day at a time.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Joe and the Open Mike

Joe (aka: The Mouth That Pours) Biden, his mike still on, whispers to President Obama as Obama prepares to sign the Healthcare Bill.

"This is a big f***ing deal."

No, Joe, it's a big deal that's f***ing Americans.
But what do I know? I'm just a taxpayer.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

St. Patrick's Day Facts

There are myths and truths surrounding this glorious day. To simplify, we'll call them "muths".

Muth #1:
St. Patrick is said to have driven the snakes out of Ireland.

This "muth" is based on his sharing Christianity with the pagan Celts. There were NO snakes in Ireland- well, until 1171 when the two-legged SNAKES returned, cleverly disguised as the English. The bloody English continue to infest Northern Ireland to this day. Plus there's a rumor that these same ruthless vipers took all the good tea for themselves, leaving the Irish with a few pathetic bags of tea leavings. True Irish would never serve tea from a bag!

Muth #2:
It is customary to drink green beer on this day.

That is treasonous to any self-respecting Irish-man, woman or child! To quote an old Irish poem (created about 5 minutes ago)

The Good Lord
Gave us Rain
To Brighten up this Isle
That rain became the dark gold brew
Well known as Guinness Ale
He knew that drink would cheer man up
True, would wipe away a frown
For if the Lord meant for beer to be green
That rain would fall upside down!**
Erin Go Bragh!
(** I never claimed it was a good poem)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Thought For Today

"The devil is easy to identify. He appears when you're terribly tired and makes a very reasonable request which you know you shouldn't grant."
-Fiorello LaGuardia, former mayor of New York City (1882-1947)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Who Dat?

I confess that shortly after kickoff I discarded the Colts to cheer for the Saints.
So, to the now famous question, "Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?"
Not me, brother, not me!