Hockey Mom Kicks Butt!

John McCain is brilliant! If I ever grow up, I want to be just like Sarah Palin!

The Obama Promise

If you're like me you prefer the Reader's Digest version of most political speeches. I have spent the last few days condensing Obama's vision:

"America, blah, blah blah blah, eat the rich people, blah blah blah, Global warming, blah blah blah. Tax big oil, blah blah blah, and blah. Make nice with mean people in Iran and North Korea. Blah blah blah and blah. A chicken and some pot and every child gets a pony!"

You're welcome!

The Really Big Show

I expected Obama to arrive on a cloud, surrounded by angelic trumpeters.

No, Sheryl Crow and Stevie Wonder don't count.

Medical Mystery?

Scientists, using boatloads of grant money, come up with answers that I could have told them if they'd just bothered to ask me.

For example, a recent report: "Scientists discover the cause of Post-Partum Depression."

Hey, Brainiacs: "I'll take Babies for $200, Alex."

Exactly zero women who have never given birth experience Post-Partum Depression.

Quote O'the Day

Jesse Jackson Jr.: "No one wants an angry African-American man in the White House."

How about an Angry, White, Middle-aged Menopausal Woman with access to nuclear weapons?
I'm just sayin', it coulda happened.

My Dream Team

If it was up to me (relax- it's not) Hillary Clinton would have been Obama's VP choice. Not because I like either of them, I think it would supply comedians with joke material for at least 4 yrs.
Will Clinton Supporters aka P.U.M.A (Party Unity My Ass) live up to their name?
I can only hope that the next 4 days in Denver will provide enough hostility to make Iraq look like a drive-by shooting on the east side of town. I'm still hoping for a knife-fight between Bill Clinton and Bill Richardson. That Judas!
A girl can dream.

Skeet Death Toll Rises

Why must innocent Skeet be killed by athletes with firearms to win Olympic medals? Can't they just shoot at targets? Or beer bottles? Or pigeons?
Folks used to go on snipe hunts. Nobody does that anymore, I guess because the snipe were over-hunted and are now extinct. It's all very sad.