Thursday, March 27, 2008

On This Day In History . . .

. . .Juan Ponce De Leon, also known as "The Ponce", discovered Florida. He began his search for the Fountain of Youth.
Obviously, it was not in Florida where the average age is 82.5. Citizens still search for the miracle waters as evidenced by the large number of cars driving aimlessly about with their left turn signals on.

I understand that the Democratic Party denies the existence of intelligent life in Florida and Michigan. Wait! I've got that wrong- there's no evidence of intelligent life in the Democratic Party.

You want proof? Howard Dean, the Clintons, Obama, Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi- I could go on but I need to bathe after typing those names.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day

"May those who love us love
And those who don't love us
May God turn their hearts
And if He doesn't turn their hearts
May he turn their ankles
So we'll know them by their limping."
--Irish prayer
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

Monday, March 3, 2008

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

"Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind."~ Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. "Dr. Seuss" 1904-1991