Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My Point Exactly!

Nothing cures a case of overthinking
like a dose of sarcasm.

Letter to Columnist

(for context, read Kathleen Parker's column in today's A.V. Press, page A-10.)

Dear Ms. Parker,

Your column announcing the death of Cynicism and Snark assured me of one thing: I'm screwed! Not just me but all unrepentant smart-alecs with sarcasm coursing through our veins.

How will we now point out how sanctimonious and moronic many of our leaders truly are? i.e. Nancy and Harry, Barney and Charlie- you know who they are.

I imagine we will be forced underground to whisper our wicked humor in dark alleys or in cold steel and concrete parking structures.

Will we slip between the hybrid cars to sneer at our leaders? Probably not, most of those cars are the size of a box of crackers - the trial size!

The future looms large - we are definitely screwed!

A Fan and Fellow Snarker

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Letter to the President

Dear President Obama,
Although I didn't vote for you, I accept that the majority of Americans selected you to lead this great country. I pledge my support and respect for the office you now hold. I ask only that you seek wisdom and guidance from the One True God in taking us forward.
I am proud to see Dr. King's dream at last fulfilled and pray that we can let the chains and barriers of the past drop away. I pray that they are replaced by willing hands and willing hearts reflecting God's grace and mercy.
May God bless and keep you and your family and may God continue to bless America.


A Proud American Citizen

P.S. Word up: I will surely crack wise from time to time, it's what I do, it's who I am.
After all the hoopla and expectation of your speech, I was hoping that the first words out of your mouth would be "I got nothing" and the media could put an end to their slobbering adoration.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Speech! Speech!

Tomorrow, Inaguration Day, Barak Obama has to make a meaningful speech that will be remembered for all time. His words will be compared to Lincoln, FDR and Kennedy. WOW! No pressure.

Automobile Tip O' the Day

Do you know when it's time to replace your tires?
I've been told to stick a penny in the tread and then some other weird thing about Lincoln that I can never remember. So, I've written a little rhyme that might be useful to all of us:
I see London
I see France
I see Lincoln's Underpants.
Time for new tires.

Friday, January 9, 2009

What Don't I Know?

I've heard that the point in life when you've become wise is when you can acknowledge that "you don't know what you don't know."

I suppose that's true, but I don't know.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

111th Congress Begins . . .

. . .with a Dog & Pony Show. I've rested up from November so now I'll amuse myself by watching the Democrats canniblize one another.
Act 1: Roland Burris

Meanwhile, back at Camp Obama: Leon Panetta picked as CIA Chief. This means a kinder, gentler interrogation of people who want to destroy our country.
Will hot cocoa, candy and pony rides await terrorists?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Reflections on 2008

As I reflect on 2008, I can say we had a great year:
Black folks are happy; Obama was elected.
White folks are happy, OJ is in jail.
Democrats are happy; George Bush is leaving office.
Republicans are happy: Democrats can finally quit saying George Bush stole the election.
And all of us are so happy; The election is finally over!

2009 will be even better because immediately after his inauguration, Obama will balance the budget, revive the economy, solve the real estate problem, solve the auto industry problem, solve our gas/alternative energy problem, stop the fires and mudslides in California, ban hurricanes and tornadoes, stop identity theft, reverse global warming, find Osama, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, get rid of corruption in government and achieve world peace . Then on the 7th day, He will rest.