Thursday, January 31, 2008

Loner Holiday Established

As a loner I’m quite comfortable- except when it’s a holiday that embraces family, and most holidays do, don’t they?

New Year’s Eve and day are family days. Valentines is at least a couples days. Easter is family. Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day and Thanksgiving and Christmas- all family days. I suppose I could claim Martin Luther King Day, Presidents or Columbus Day for loners but it really should be more obscure than that. Maybe Chinese New Year- except there’s what? A billion Chinese people?

Groundhog Day! That will be the official Loner Day! The groundhog is a solitary sort- newspapers aren’t reporting that “a large number of groundhogs filled the Town Square for their annual weather-predicting festival .”

Groundhog Day is always on February 2nd, it’s freezing outside and the world forgets about it as soon as the critter sees his shadow. The occasion lasts maybe 10 minutes, requires no decoration or food preparation- which I think you'll agree- is tedious, messy and not something we loners are really suited for.

I may have stumbled upon a well-kept secret. I’m certain that not many others know of this because we loners are rather tight-lipped about what we do in our private time. You know how it is: you tell one person and pretty soon it’s all over the internet and there goes our precious loner-ness. In fact, forget I mentioned it, okay?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Few Words

I've been trying to come up with something clever for days with no success. I'm at a loss for words with the exception of these: and, the and frenetic.

I know that many of you are creative, can-do people. Make up your own blog today using those words. I can't do everything, I'm not your maid.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Moms vs Pirates

(To the tune of The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything)

We are your mothers, we do everything !
We don't stay home and hang around
And if you ask us to do anything, we’ll just tell you
WE DO EVERYTHING!

Well we've been to the cleaners
And we've been to the Doctor
And we've looked for buried treasure in your ears
We have been to teacher conferences
And visited with Santa
And we don't have time
WE'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE!

We are your mothers, we do everything!
We don't stay home and hang around
And if you ask us to do anything, We'll just tell you
WE DO EVERYTHING!

And we've done all your laundry
And we've mopped all the floors up
And we've listened to your whining
Until blood shot out our ears

We are your mothers, we do EVERYTHING
DON’T EVEN START WITH ME
WASH YOUR HANDS AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH- NOW!
STOP TORMENTING YOUR SISTER
FINISH UP YOUR HOMEWORK
I’M NOT TALKING JUST TO HEAR MYSELF SPEAK
DON’T MAKE ME COME IN THERE. . .

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Prayer for Today

Dear Lord~
As You know, there's an important football game today- not as important as other stuff You already have on Your To-Do list, (which must be a gi-normous list what with the Primaries going on!) but it's important to me and anyone who doesn't like the New England Patriots. (And seriously, isn't that just about anybody with a lick of sense? I'm just saying . . .)

Anyway, could You see Your way clear to keep the Patriots from winning today? Kinda like You stopped the Egyptians at the Red Sea? Dead in their tracks? Make their wheels fall off and stuff? You don't have to use water- unless you want to, I mean that's totally up to You. This means that Jacksonville has to win but I can live with that.

Also, if You could give favor to the Indianapolis Colts tomorrow and let them win their division, Dude! That would be awesome! (What am I saying? You CREATED awesome!)

On a totally different subject: thanks for steering that asteroid away from Mars. If they had collided You know Al Gore would have blamed it on global warming and the Bush Administration.

~Amen

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Good, Bad, Etc

Good: It's a brand new year!
Bad: It will be 11 months before this Presidential election is over.
Ugly: The finger-pointing has only just begun.
Grotesque: The 2000 election is still being rehashed.
("We was robbed," the others sobbed)
Boo-freakin-Hoo! Shut up and get some work done!
I have not yet selected a candidate to support, although there are at least 6 total that I will never support.
I'd like someone who will remember that they're working for:
WE The People . . .

(I threw in the swimsuit pics just for DonTheBaptist.)