Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Prop 8 Wins!

Finally a court in California got it right with upholding Prop 8! The people voted for marriage to be recognized as legal between a man and a woman in 2000 and we were slapped in the face. This time the Supreme Court apparently got the message that we were serious.

No one lost their civil rights anymore than I lost the right to be Miss California or an Olympic gold medal winner. Period.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Family Fun?

Looking for someplace to take your sick kids, your sister and her three snot-nosed kids, Grandma and your unemployed husband? A free place that's local?Someplace air-conditioned and full of happy people who are thrilled to be in the same room with your coughing child?

Frankly, I don't know where that would be. I CAN tell you where it's not:

The Department of Motor Vehicles and Wal-Mart.

After recent visits to both places I've got to say: for fun? Not so much!
After 10 min. I hate your kids. After 20 min. I'm conspiring ways to torture your entire family that makes waterboarding look like an all expenses-paid trip to DisneyWorld and Hurricane Harbor.

I'm not proud of those thoughts but they happened. I am not a bad person, I just have bad thoughts sometimes. Sorry.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Nancy Pinnochio?

Does Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, really believe that Americans in general, and California voters in particular, are ignorant?

Either (A) She's a blatant liar * or (B) She's too stupid to hold that position. *
I've heard five-year-olds lie more convincingly about stealing cookies!

*In the event that an ignorant person reads this: the answer is BOTH A & B.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

New Disease Coming Soon!

We had the swine flu back in '76 when then President, Gerald Ford, ordered that we all be inoculated against it. Only problem was, folks kept dying from the vaccine!

We've been threatened with Mad Cow Disease and the Bird flu.What's next?
I predict The Llama Flu. Symptoms include uncontrolled spitting.
That pandemic will begin once they've added up all that the Congress has indebted us with.

Unfortunately, we'll all be standing in line at the DMV* which will become the clearing house for National Health Care: You think you have the flu? That would be window # 593. Wait in the line for the next available government employee.

*It is my prediction that the DMV will be selected because those employees are already well-versed in tying red tape into elaborate knots. I'm just saying . . .