Thursday, October 18, 2007

Community Service?

I realize it's been nearly a month since my speeding ticket- but I find that I'm still bitter. Not at law enforcement, I'm ticked off at the hundreds of other drivers I've witnessed flagrantly breaking the law.

I've become hyper-vigilant of these wanton criminal acts. In fact, were I a cop on the 14Fwy I could have written no fewer than 20 tickets on my way to Agua Dulce this morning. At each infraction I loudly shouted "HA- Scofflaw!" to no one in particular and mentally tallied the possible fine each deserved. As a result I figure that if I were deputized I could single-handedly collect enough money to pay off the national debt, build the border fence and arrange for Al Gore to be spirited away to live at the North Pole.

Of course, I'd need a different car: one that can reach passing speeds without turning off the radio and leaning forward. Yes, it's true: I drive a 12 yr old gutless wonder. It goes 5 mph uphill and 106 down. As you may have guessed I was going downhill on that fateful day.

The only thing standing in my way is that ugly brown uniform. That, and the backgroud check.


Don the Baptist said...

I just drove through the Agua Dulce Speed trap via Sierra Hwy. The experience had me shaking in my Taurus the whole time.

Kathleen Flynn said...

Try it with 2 little girls singing "Go, Speed Racer, Go!"