Women like to make up diet rules for themselves. I know many women who claim that any food eaten while standing is virtually calorie free. Another rule is that the calories in cakes and pies are automatically eliminated if you are merely ‘cleaning up the edges’. It goes without saying that one can be as compulsively ‘neat’ as one feels is necessary. On occasion I have eaten nearly half a pie in this endeavor. I’m an extremely neat person.
My favorite diet rule concerns chocolate. I have a theory that chocolate is essentially a vegetable. Once I offer my hypothesis I’m sure you’ll agree:
Chocolate grows on a bush, and we all know bushes are plants that grow in soil. What else grows on a plant and/or in the soil? Vegetables, of course! I believe that Chocolate is, by nature, a vegetable. The myriad of dieticians I’ve spoken with always recommend unlimited servings of vegetables. See how this works? Don’t you wish you’d discovered this? (Occasionally I discover I am an actual genius!)
To extrapolate on this same theory, add nuts to the equation. Nuts, a legume, are a type of vegetable which provide protein. Ask any vegetarian. They seem quite well informed about nuts.
With careful planning one can have two servings of vegetables AND a serving of protein while no animal has been harmed. We’re talking guilt-free food here! I wonder, if you eat milk –chocolate, would that count as a dairy serving as well?
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3 comments:
Yes, I believe it would. Three of the recommended food groups in one! The other rule is that if you eat salad, it eliminates the calories from the au gratin potatoes, rolls and the extra portion of ham. Keep that in mind. Let's not even talk about carrot cake, because everyone knows the rules that apply to that one.
I know I'LL sleep better tonight.
Thank you, my work here is done.
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